i'm back from outer space

tomorrow i'm going to cleveland with caity, lucy, mollie and brett to see weezer. i am thoroughly excited to get away from morgantown for a day or two. when i get back i have serious unending work and studying to do. i also just ordered boots i've wanted for 3 months off of urban outfitters. and i do believe i'm going to go buy a new stereo because mine is an asshole. god, it feels good to be self-centered. granted, it also feels out of character. but i think i'll go with it for a few more weeks.

erik is moving to philadelphia in a few days. so it's goodbye again. it's been a weird three weeks.

i was thinking about how important erik has been to me. two summers ago he inadvertently helped me through some of the worst times of my life. i can't say that about anyone else. i'm glad he's doing something irrational.

i remember how we used to get trashed before work and then be too trashed to even go to work. and we would smoke and i would say things that didn't make sense and he would write them down. there was something cathartic about some of the things we did. i think because we became friends when i was finally tired of being good and pleasing my parents; when i was being a lush and a tease and unattached.

with everything else the only thing i wonder is when the ratio changed from
me
over
everything

to

[some thing]
over
me

something clicked when i was talking with my mother and she said

if i don't let myself be happy now,
then when?

i think i'm doing well because honestly, i've been getting over things for two months now.