Monday, October 25, 2004
i'm a loner, dottie; a rebel
sucking it up. school is fine. other things aren't but i am appreciative of emotions unrelated to tom, regardless. i always end up back here. cover it up. and even if i wanted to expose my feelings i just can't speak the words. i remember at the beginning of speeches, my throat would tense and the first five words were hard to push out, unless i could find some focal point. focusing on school, grades, boys, politics, alcohol is a sorry excuse for a way out. i know it and i don't expect it to go anywhere, but i'd rather do it than not. the point is, i'm not denying how i feel about things anymore, but that doesn't mean i could ever let anyone know that something is wrong. or that it hurts. or that i'm sad. it's shitty enough, telling yourself. in these situations, things are always a lot worse than i expect. i'll be keeping my mouth shut and shedding this well-played part of drama queen. hope your ramadan was the best.
happy halloween.
happy halloween.
Sunday, October 24, 2004
i knew from square one.
so i'm down for whatever anymore.
Thursday, October 07, 2004
DE
you said, the stars are nothing. and when we look at them things shouldn't seem anymore amazing than the reality of what is and what isn't. you said, the sky, it's just another ocean.
but you must be wrong. because there are other people out there, who dream of delaware and me. there are other people that know why delaware is important. and they answer me when i ask them why. when i need the affirmation. they know it's invaluable because it is the first state. the beginning of everything. the end of love.
-and why is delaware important
:because it's the beginning of everything
-you're right. it is. the first thing.
and we can acknowledge, together, how vastly important this is. how pivotal delaware is to our existence and the universe. how encompassing it becomes, the first state gently guiding us towards the last dance, even though you have forgotten your shoes and your moves. delaware is the edge of a cliff to me. sitting on the suspension bridge---
---holding hands and letting go, i just want to say. it wasn't, but maybe could've might've been in the dusk of delaware, when i first felt you. when there were only stars and bridges and silent summer. the very last place you would look.
because, you were wrong.
the stars are something.
we just aren't.
but you must be wrong. because there are other people out there, who dream of delaware and me. there are other people that know why delaware is important. and they answer me when i ask them why. when i need the affirmation. they know it's invaluable because it is the first state. the beginning of everything. the end of love.
-and why is delaware important
:because it's the beginning of everything
-you're right. it is. the first thing.
and we can acknowledge, together, how vastly important this is. how pivotal delaware is to our existence and the universe. how encompassing it becomes, the first state gently guiding us towards the last dance, even though you have forgotten your shoes and your moves. delaware is the edge of a cliff to me. sitting on the suspension bridge---
---holding hands and letting go, i just want to say. it wasn't, but maybe could've might've been in the dusk of delaware, when i first felt you. when there were only stars and bridges and silent summer. the very last place you would look.
because, you were wrong.
the stars are something.
we just aren't.
