i'm back from outer space

these last six months have been the longest years of my life.
my hands are tied.

and there is no thing
i can do
without your penance and presence
touching me with words that must be spoken
with earnest, with faith.
that you can not give me, that you can not give yourself.
i feel like i've left you ten thousand times over.

and so it seems that i will
move inexorably faster and forward
eyes closed and fixated
on a past on a future

i will be fine, and continue to be
some goal-oriented adult,
but in all honesty
i will have always wanted
the words that you won't grace me with,
the faith that you will not permit yourself to have in you,
in me.
the action.

the promise.