Tuesday, October 04, 2005
circa 23 august 2005
It has finally started to feel like you are always leaving me
Although this has always been the way it has been with you and i
But only now am I attuned to the signs
Of a door falling silently shut.
I surely love you, but I don’t know for how long
When I am waiting around for bad things and the worst days to happen
It really does degrade the romance potential of every second
And every hard won moment of the here and there days we share
until I’ve got to start pretending I am out of love
I never want to feel like I’m biding your time
I just thought maybe this time around
It would be all the hand holding I never had at sixteen
Something cautious and honest to make breathing easy but.
but
When you swivel around and next I know
It has gotten harder and serious and sexy
Like I am some grown-up that should take care
To display my graces before my fuck ups
Like when we baked cupcakes
And you told me things were going to be
As good as they could be
Like when you said so severely
you and me
i can tell we will be
We will be for a long time
And now you leave after days and hours compiled on end together
and it is more of an abandonment and I will think
About times we baked cupcakes
and the first time you said i love you
Or when you spun me around on your desk chair and
How we had fights with donuts and you smeared chocolate in my hair
Together
But this is all hard to swallow in the light of an empty space anticipated in my hands and heart
Coming closer by the promised days and weeks apart
I gulp with some strange anxiety and wonder when
You will make your move, or when I will make mine so bravely/so stupidly
Or I wonder how many more times I’ll see you leave
Until you have left for the last time. for the first time
I feel like
Sugar, you and I,
we are a long way from forever
Although this has always been the way it has been with you and i
But only now am I attuned to the signs
Of a door falling silently shut.
I surely love you, but I don’t know for how long
When I am waiting around for bad things and the worst days to happen
It really does degrade the romance potential of every second
And every hard won moment of the here and there days we share
until I’ve got to start pretending I am out of love
I never want to feel like I’m biding your time
I just thought maybe this time around
It would be all the hand holding I never had at sixteen
Something cautious and honest to make breathing easy but.
but
When you swivel around and next I know
It has gotten harder and serious and sexy
Like I am some grown-up that should take care
To display my graces before my fuck ups
Like when we baked cupcakes
And you told me things were going to be
As good as they could be
Like when you said so severely
you and me
i can tell we will be
We will be for a long time
And now you leave after days and hours compiled on end together
and it is more of an abandonment and I will think
About times we baked cupcakes
and the first time you said i love you
Or when you spun me around on your desk chair and
How we had fights with donuts and you smeared chocolate in my hair
Together
But this is all hard to swallow in the light of an empty space anticipated in my hands and heart
Coming closer by the promised days and weeks apart
I gulp with some strange anxiety and wonder when
You will make your move, or when I will make mine so bravely/so stupidly
Or I wonder how many more times I’ll see you leave
Until you have left for the last time. for the first time
I feel like
Sugar, you and I,
we are a long way from forever
