Sunday, September 12, 2004
i made you easy mac.
&
so it was over. my mouth, eyes and falling heart were accomplished, successful. but we touched otherwise with such discretion, that i could only feel like some girl at a bad party, all eye liner and haze.
this is my contrition. that i am stupid, not for what i have done, but for what i have felt. i told you- i feel closer to you. you said- i feel tired.
so you roll over and sleep, tangled in my sheets, in my life. i feel sick laying wide awake facing the wall, already wanting to wash or burn everything you've touched. sharing my bed is intertwined too closely with trust that i don't have. and when you're gone i promise myself i will do just that. i will bleach you out of me.
because i won't ask the questions you can't answer.
when i woke up you were holding me.
so it was over. my mouth, eyes and falling heart were accomplished, successful. but we touched otherwise with such discretion, that i could only feel like some girl at a bad party, all eye liner and haze.
this is my contrition. that i am stupid, not for what i have done, but for what i have felt. i told you- i feel closer to you. you said- i feel tired.
so you roll over and sleep, tangled in my sheets, in my life. i feel sick laying wide awake facing the wall, already wanting to wash or burn everything you've touched. sharing my bed is intertwined too closely with trust that i don't have. and when you're gone i promise myself i will do just that. i will bleach you out of me.
because i won't ask the questions you can't answer.
when i woke up you were holding me.
