Thursday, April 15, 2004
liposuck
the insomnia doesn't rest anymore. so here i am, there i lay. can't sleep, forget to eat.
i'm a wreck. this week ranks in the top twelve or so worst weeks of my short life.
allergies, head is exploding. 64% - lowest grade of the semester - on my history test. drunk guys pissing on my door. 9 page papers. faulty alarms and sleeping halfway through class. scheduling problems. School of Journalism's anal retentive tendencies. waiting.
the insomnia doesn't break. it was a one day a month endeavor before, but now it's here to stay it seems. it would die out, but it's going now, two weeks strong. only breaking one day because of illegal drug use. but now it's not breaking, and my eyes are red. Nyquil? sleep is easier when something is at arms length.
at least i could sleep at night when we still talked.
but that was more monotonous and unweilding. that was shit.
still,
i equate sleep with love i think. i am not in love.
i can only touch a handful of people anymore without wanting to curl back into a ball.
when people touch me, it feels like cars colliding.
i want to be held by specified arms alone.
arms length.
i'm a wreck. this week ranks in the top twelve or so worst weeks of my short life.
allergies, head is exploding. 64% - lowest grade of the semester - on my history test. drunk guys pissing on my door. 9 page papers. faulty alarms and sleeping halfway through class. scheduling problems. School of Journalism's anal retentive tendencies. waiting.
the insomnia doesn't break. it was a one day a month endeavor before, but now it's here to stay it seems. it would die out, but it's going now, two weeks strong. only breaking one day because of illegal drug use. but now it's not breaking, and my eyes are red. Nyquil? sleep is easier when something is at arms length.
at least i could sleep at night when we still talked.
but that was more monotonous and unweilding. that was shit.
still,
i equate sleep with love i think. i am not in love.
i can only touch a handful of people anymore without wanting to curl back into a ball.
when people touch me, it feels like cars colliding.
i want to be held by specified arms alone.
arms length.
